your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
