She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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