Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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