its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
