Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
