I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
