So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
