I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
