i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
