Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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