Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
