I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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