I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
