i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
