Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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