The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
