We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize