They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Randomize
