she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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