haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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