And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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