From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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