i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
