He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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