Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
