We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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