dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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