she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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