shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I enjoy the company of your penis
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
