This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
