Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
