Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We are all done wearing pants today
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
