is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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