ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
