What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
