My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize