I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
