Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
