Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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