there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
