i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
