He kissed a someone with a penis
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
