Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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