ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
