My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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