You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
