So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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