I just cut my nipple shaving
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
