I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
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