My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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