I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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