when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize