Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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