my sisters under your porch take her home
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
