walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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