So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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