Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
