How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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