so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My apartment stinks of burning failure
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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