just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
