Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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